The Dark Side Of Spiritual Growth
Once upon a time, you did something radically different. You went to this spiritual retreat. It changed everything. All of a sudden, you were woke. This vast world inside of you opened up that you were never aware of. You felt how you are love. You became aware of how everything is connected and wholesome. But you also laid bare this inner cesspool containing your shadows. You shook hands with your inner prostitute, victim and saboteur. And your ego was staring you in the face. You met other brave people there. You all shared your stories and exposed yourselves in ways you'd never done before. You all felt butt naked, but boy did it feel good! Never were you this real, open & vulnerable. You were finally accepted for who you truly are. The good and even the bad & ugly parts. This homecoming made you feel truly connected, seen and validated by others for the first time in your life. You felt oh so loved!
But there's a dark side to all of this. As a by-product of all this hard work, you can now no longer connect with ‘normal’ people. You've lost interest in regular social interactions and only crave deep connections. You're experiencing an existential crisis, because your self-image seemed to be a construct of your ego, leaving you with an existential void. You were never religious but now do moon rituals and feel drained because Mars is in retrograde. You never played a musical instrument but now own a hand pan. When you're constipated, you harmonize the frequencies in your gut with your crystal singing bowl. And your new chimes are inbound from Amazon.com, even though you demonize Jeff Bezos for being part of a global elite that's destroying everything that is holy and good. But it's OK; you practice non-duality and secretly love the fact that their prices are really good.
“Get stuck deep enough down the rabbit hole & the last thing of you the rest of the world sees is an ass”
I'm getting carried away a bit now, but here's the catch of starting spiritual work. Get stuck deep enough down the rabbit hole & the last thing of you the rest of the world sees is an ass. It's the coping mechanism of an ostrich. Don't step out of the matrix, just to step into another one. Truly waking up means waking up to all aspects of your world. To face its entirety. It does not mean getting stuck in some alternate reality where it's nice, cosy and comfortable and everyone thinks and feels like you. Because you'd still be doing the same as you did before: you're still asleep, but just swapped sleeping bags. Start learning to deal with the things you don't like, instead of judging, evading & spiritually bypassing them.
“Don't step out of the matrix, just to step into another one.”
I’m not saying you shouldn’t stick your head down rabbit holes. On the contrary, I’d even advise you to do so to obtain new perspectives, insights and break patterns. But don't forget to pull that head of yours out of that rabbit hole again. Rabbit holes are to be excavated; not to be inhabited. Learn from your excavations and integrate those learnings with what you already know to be true about yourself. Just make sure to not fully detach from reality and get stuck down that hole. Stay connected to all your worlds.
So, maybe watch the news and read the papers from time to time. Consciously keep in touch with 'normal' people while refraining from judgement. Express yourself without using the words energy, frequency and resonate while still communicating clearly and concise. And if you think you've reached enlightenment, go spend a week or two with your parents.
Good luck and let me know whether you (dis)agree!
In service of the betterment of men,
