…but then she changed her mind. And you end up disappointed and frustrated… again… This is a story many men share with me.

The concept of patriarchy is a fallacy that distracts us from the real issues of gender stereotypes and the expectations that go along with it. We need to move beyond traditional gender roles and embrace the diversity of human traits to become fully integrated human beings.

Negative beliefs pain us and we seek ways to cope with them. What happens is that we numb those feelings by developing various ego defences. The irony is that these behaviours to alleviate pain, just result in more pain. To actually grow, do this…

Stealthing is being prosecuted as rape in The Netherlands for the first time in history. And still, too many men whine about having to wear condoms. Just ask women in the dating scene. But guys, the problem is almost always between your ears and not between your legs.

Most men want to neutralize and solve conflict ASAP. Here's my tip to you: DON'T! Give her some room. Let her show herself. Invite her and her fire, letting her feel that you're ready to receive her. That you've got this, not afraid of it and open to explore it with her.

Because emotions are facts. You don't need to judge them. They simply happen. And they're trying to tell you something. You'd be stupid not to listen to them. They're your guide, telling you that you need to deal with something. But it's all about how you deal with your emotions.

When we bump into a boundary, sensible people will stop there. But our lust, desires, neediness, greediness, or even old-school social conditioning that "a woman's no means you need to try harder", can tempt us to take tiny pokes at that boundary.

By developing and increasing polarity with our partner, we paradoxically are trying to attract the experience that we had to let go of when we were little but now through someone else.

A woman allowing her boundaries to be violated almost always fears rejection & abandonment. And this fear will make her mute herself, while even starting to please her man so as to feel 'safe' herself. But this sense of safety is false - it’s actually undermining her relationship.

There's a growing number of teachers, that are abusing polarity theory to promote classical patriarchal beliefs by strictly tying masculine traits to men and feminine traits to women. This leads to personal disintegration and in the long run, we'll only end up further away from ourselves and each other, instead of closer.

We still try to “make men” out of boys by forcing them to disconnect from parts of themselves. We start pushing boys into personal disintegration from the age of 4 to 5, resulting in a lot of discontent & impediments to living their lives fully.

When coping with earthly, practical things, MEN ENGAGE.
But when needing to cope with emotional discomfort: MEN DISENGAGE. They tend to avoid, deny, and do wishful thinking. Ironically, this increases their suffering and discomfort.

How do you wield the immense power of feedback? What is your motive to want to share it - have you ever consciously researched the underlying reasons for desiring to provide feedback?

Many of us are pleasing the mother instead of leading as a father. We're following the lead of our women instead of taking our own. If we don't take the lead of our own part, our women will do it for us. And this will kill all respect she has for you.

Seeing the difference between mindfucks and intuition can be confusing sometimes, but they are actually very different things. One hurts us, while the other is a great power.

The man with a strong masculine doesn't tell her what to do. He takes her by the hand & leads her there. Since most men identify with the masculine essence, they need to be aware of what it means to really lead.

When we struggle to shut up, say hello to our old friend Mr Ego. He's trying to compensate for our insecurities with a façade of words. Here’s an exercise for you to grow in becoming a better listener.

There's a catch with spiritual work. Don't step out of the matrix, just to step into another one. Truly waking up means dealing with the world in its entirety. It does not mean getting stuck in some alternate reality where's it's nice, cosy and comfortable and everyone thinks and feels like you.

We men have a hard time getting to grips with our emotions. Let alone, talk about them. Many of us just don't want to talk about it. But if you DO want to talk about it, how do you get him to do so when he doesn't want to?

Here’s the general rule: don't push him. It will only make him angry & frustrated. Instead, invite, trust, assure, support him to open up.

There’s a massive grey area in #metoo. It's not populated by Harvey Weinsteins, but rather by men that intend well, but lack self-awareness, skill and experience.

The man that feels he's being a good old casanova, brave enough to drop some well-meant compliments, intending to make her feel good, while the woman feels intimidated, violated, unsafe or uncomfortable.

It's a clusterfuck of good intentions paving the road to hell. It's time to rewrite the script.