The Rise & Danger Of Unipolar Polarity Teachers

Polarity teachers - social media is flooded with 'm these days. The theory is awesome, but there's a growing number of teachers, that are abusing polarity theory to promote classical patriarchal beliefs by strictly tying masculine traits to men and feminine traits to women.

And it's getting crazier by the day. We now have our own spiritual 'Andrew Tates'.

For example:
"Don't get your man a gift, because it will make him feel less masculine. You are actively emasculating your man."

"Women who set boundaries don't trust men. And women shouldn't set boundaries."

"Masculine men give their woman an allowance."

And my favourite, from yesterday:
Woman to man: "Hey babe, can you pass that broom over there?"
"If you accept any of that, you're actively emasculating yourself."

This sh|t... I can't believe that some people are outright dumb enough to preach this. But what I find even harder to fathom, is the size of the following these people have. I guess being toxic, crazy & outspoken sells big time. But these teachings are a highway towards personal disintegration.

For example, for the masculine, a key masculine trait is stoicism. The masculine holds space for the feminine, like the mountain, unwavering, unmovable, sturdy, solid and grounded. This simply appeals to many men and women.

But what is the definition of a stoic actually?
"A person who can endure pain or hardship without showing their feelings or complaining."

Well, hello there, John Rambo 😉!

Now, in myths, movies and stories, we see stoicism prevail all the time. Now that's all nice when it's a Marvel movie, but solely focus on this in real life, and it will impair your mental health - "not showing your feelings" or stowing away your pain, troubles a man more than it serves him. Still, unipolar teachers push this as absolute truth.

All humans, men AND women, need to deal with their sh|t. But when we start mapping certain traits or behaviours to a polarity pole and then solely focus on that pole, we start to ignore and miss out on paramount aspects of our experience. Spiritual bypassing ensues: we use spiritual beliefs or teachings to not have to deal with our crap. And this is where it gets toxic because those things will seep out in nasty, destructive ways.

Unipolar polarity teachings recreate a similar narrative as traditional patriarchal socialization did - a collectively shared romantic dream of relationships, based on this construct/blueprint of what a real man or woman should look like. It even adds fuel to the fire: "be like this, and you will have the relationship of your dreams, fabulous ś3x, the strongest attraction you've ever felt, and will live happily ever after." It's become a massive business - people are spending big bucks because they believe they need to follow these teachings and that blueprint to obtain that dream.

But what I actually see, is many people going down a collective spiritual rabbit hole that isn't actually serving them. Of course, there are valuable lessons to be learned from the polarity teachings. And those who follow them will experience the benefits - the quick wins. But in the long run, if we become dogmatic and one-sided about polarity, we'll only end up further away from ourselves and each other, instead of closer.

So be wary of these kinds of teachers. They're hurting the world instead of healing it and will probably turn out to damage you too after some time. They're perpetuating women's oppression & toxic masculinity by garbling and abusing polarity teachings by pinning people down to gender constructs.

But also: always check whether your teacher's teachings promote personal integration, meaning that you become aware of all of the important (sub)consciousness parts of your personality. You'll need to become competent to harmonise those parts to prevent them from working against one another.

So back to that stoic: when you're that man fostering your masculine traits... Yes! Endure hardship and pain. But also find the courage to talk about what that does to you. That doesn't mean you should be complaining, whining and hysterically crying. But it also doesn't mean being shut off all the time and pretending nothing is wrong. Integrate both sides into your personality - the yin and the yang, the masculine as well as the feminine. It's the one healthy way to grow as a human being.

In service of the betterment of men,
Erik, Mentor of Men