The No. 1 Way To Avoid Unnecessary Suffering

Do you tend to evade emotional discomfort?
Then you are not alone.
Most of us will do anything to avoid facing ourselves.

I have done so for the majority of my life.
But only realized I was doing so, some 10 years back.

I didn't realize that I was trying to not deal with my crap.
I didn't realize that I was numbing my way out of it.

But mainly, I couldn't bare to honestly look at myself.

Then the realisation occurred through working with men:
When coping with earthly, practical things: THEY ENGAGE.
But when they need to cope with emotional discomfort: THEY DISENGAGE.

This applies to humans in general, but especially to you: my guys, men, brothers.

You disengage because you're attempting to escape your feelings of distress.
And your distress starts by being confronted with the reality of you.
So your ego tries to avoid, deny, and do wishful thinking.

But it won't work.
Trying to bypass distress does nothing about its existence,
let alone about its eventual impact.

And it gets worse:
By denying and avoiding your emotional stressors,
you'll even create more intrusive mindfucks,
that in turn will stress you out even more.

See the paradox here?

Ronald D. Laing said it eloquently:
"Pain in this life is not avoidable,
but the pain we create avoiding pain is avoidable."

And so, your avoidant habits just add more things
to that list of things that you should've dealt with in the first place,
but didn't.

☝️ That's my definition of karma ☝️

That's why you, especially as a man,
must learn to transition from emotional disengagement
towards engagement.

Those who engage, move our world forward.
They aren't passively sitting by,
but are bravely & proactively dealing with reality,
outer, and inner.

So learn to slow down,
grow awareness of yourself,
become that fearless excavator,
and ground into your inner world.

And thank your ego for shielding you,
but ask it to now make room.
So you can drop the mask
and come eye-to-eye
with what's been hiding behind it all along.

And when distress hits again,
become aware of what's on offer.
Because you see,
it isn't something to run away from.
It's actually a road sign,
showing you where to go.

That road is scary as fuck,
but the journey is oh-so-worth it.
Because avoiding the problems life is throwing at you,
means avoiding the life you're meant to live.

So be brave. And engage.

In service of the betterment of men,
Erik, Mentor of Men