Don't Tell Her What To Do, But Lead Her

In relating, knowing how to cultivate polarity is one of the most important things to master. I would even dare to claim it is the foundation of attraction. But don't be fooled; it is NOT always tied to gender as you might expect. There are masculine women and feminine men. But as long as partners are in opposite parts of the spectrum, BAM! The attraction is there and it's party time! if you want to know more, pick up a book by David Deida, watch some podcasts by Sophie Josephina, or better yet, book a session with me.

Here's the beauty of playing with polarity: by moving myself, I can move my partner and as a result, manipulate the attraction between us. When I move deeper into my masculine, I invite my partner to sink deeper into her feminine. There's a natural tendency for things to balance out. And this is the best part: because things naturally balance out, I'm able to proactively increase the attraction between us by cultivating my own masculine essence. As a result, our shared polarity gets a boost and the attraction between the two of us grows.

One of those masculine practices is taking the lead. When a man learns to confidently do this, he'll be able to invite her into a space where she can fully let go, surrender to his lead and sink into her feminine essence. She can let go of her own masculine, doesn't need to have her shit together, can relinquish control, doesn't have to be in the lead herself, but can simply flow in that moment, fully enjoying the ride. Taking the lead boosts his masculine essence and in turn, invites her to even it out at the other side of the spectrum. By growing in his essence, he's inviting her to sink deeper into hers and hence stir up the fire of attraction.

Since most men identify with the masculine essence, they need to be aware of what it means to really lead. I see guys struggle with this. They feel they're trying all kinds of things to lead her somewhere, but often they're not doing it right. This is because they're externalizing their solutions, but also because they're talking & complaining about it, instead of doing something about it. But saying what you want is totally different from actually creating what you want. We are our actions. Not our words. And taking the lead is the opposite of waiting for it to happen. So what can you do to take the lead? I know you know ;-). So stop sabotaging yourself. And start doing it.

So to inspire you a bit, here's an example. Even though lots of girls love it, don't give her your credit card and tell her to go out and buy lingerie. Make private appointments at her 3 favourite lingerie shops and take her on a road trip through the city and visit all three with her.

Another one: don't ask her where she wants to go for her next trip. Instead, ask a friend to make a fake plan with her for the weekend, and then at the last minute, you tell her she's coming with you. Have her pack her bag, grab her coat and take her on a trip. Don't tell her where she's going. Especially women who have a hard time with losing control can find within themselves a deep desire to actually lose it. They just desire safe and proper leadership. Lead her from a place of confidence and she can & will want to let go.

So, stop talking & sabotaging yourself, get creative and find your inner leader. It'll make both of you happy and spark that fire. And to the ladies: share with us the best way a man has stepped into his leadership for you? We'd love to hear it.

In service of the betterment of men,

Erik